10 Things I've Learned About Myself in the Past 6 Months

Me. photo by Brett Beery. Taken this morning, feeding cows. 

Many of you know that in September of last year my family and I moved from Seattle (where for a moment I thought I might live forever) to rural Illinois, where my husband was born and raised. I remember the first time It occurred to me that there was something else in the world for me, beyond Seattle. Up until that point I had always just assumed that I had all the opportunity and happiness that I needed and never really considered the possibility of moving across the country, or across town for that matter. The day I realized that I may not be satisfied living in the Pacific North West for the rest of my life sort of shook my world. I was driving home, on 85th, just off 15th in Ballard. I had been living in the area for about 3.5 years... and it hit me, this isn't it. 

At the time I was actually thinking that I wanted to experience the east coast, somewhere in New York, Maine, or Massachusetts. I never really thought to myself that moving to the rural midwest was the next step in my life. 

Just after Judith was born, Brett and I visited IL, it was my first visit ever. We talked about what it would be like to move and help Brett's parents with their farm. It was something that, at the time, sounded romantic but unreasonable. We continued living in Seattle, making amazing progress in our careers and lives until 2011 when we visited Brett's home again. Only for the second time ever (for me). I can't really tell you what made me feel like, after a collective 12 days spent in this part of the country, this is where we belong. It must have been something really big to make me drop my career, photography business, and friend base that I had worked tirelessly the past 5 years on growing.  

During our second trip Brett and I explored towns that neighbored the Beery farm, but couldn't find anything that seemed to fit us. I told Brett at that point that if it was meant to be, then something would happen. He was frustrated, I was ready to go home. Our last day on vacation I was in Shelbyville with Brett's mom, she showed me around the town that Brett had neglected to (because it was the town he had rivaled in high school, obviously evil). I immediately felt at home, and on our way out of town we drove by a house with a for sale sign in the yard. When we got back to the farm I looked up the house on the real estate website and called for an appointment to view it. Yes, 5pm the night before we left town Brett and I viewed the house on the corner that we now call home. 

We took a really big leap moving here. Call it what you like, but I believe the universe wanted us here, and I feel strangely at home, like I've lived here for years. In the past 6 months my life has changed dramatically. I left Seattle where I was successful, had a large network of friends and family, and had started a business from scratch, to come to Illinois where in many aspects I've had to start fresh. Here's what I've learned about myself in the past 6 months:

1. There are many things that I want to do with my life, I feel an overwhelming urge to accomplish as many of them as possible. 

2. Im actually terrified of getting older and running out of time or energy.

3. I will probably never paint my nails again. I hate painted nails. 

4. Will power and Self Control are two different things ... I have little self control but very strong will power.  

5. I like working with my hands more than I like working behind a desk. 

6. I don't hide my emotions from my family. Im open with my kids and husband about my feelings

7. I hate highlighted hair. 

8. I love watching the sun set on the flat lands. 

9. My stress manifests in impatience, exhaustion, and frustration. I didn't know how much my life would change once I took out the stress.   

10. I do what I believe in, regardless of the support I get


That's all for now ... however I have decided to make an addition to the categories of my blog, I'll call it country living, and it will contain my confessions, dear diaries, and all things that I decide to randomly yammer about concerning the country.