I think I will make an attempt at blogging ... If I haven't forgotten how. May be the rain has me in the mood to put some thoughts to paper (virtual paper). After living through a scorching and dry summer, this steady drizzle has dredged up some strong nostalgia and a little homesickness.
We moved from Seattle to rural Illinois a full year ago this month. I still don't feel at home. There are many things that I love about living in the country, and I'm excited about what our future here holds, but there's still a huge void. I miss the city, I miss people, I miss culture and diversity, I miss having a job, I miss feeling truly inspired and stimulated.
I think the rare blue moon brought out some crazy in me, did you feel it? I went sorta nuts on Friday and am still recovering. Whether it was the moon or just a wake up call, I had a moment when I realized that I'm not really living, but just going through the motions. I've never been the type of person that is okay with just letting my life happen. I haven't been in control, and I haven't been doing the things I love (like blogging!) I haven't set up my darkroom and we've been here for a year! I set out on a mission to be more adventurous when I turned 27 and I have certainly not seized the day.
It's not intuitive how to break from a slump. You feel tired and always want to rest, but the more you rest the worse you feel. You don't want to leave the house and don't have the energy to get ready, even though it's probably the only thing that can help pull you up.
Now that I'm recovering from my self proclaimed astrological awakening, I'm feeling strangely recharged. I think I will convince my husband to stay awake with me until midnight and declare September 3rd New Years Day. That's step one, step two is blogging again, and step three is getting out my 4x5 camera, dusting it off, and remembering why I'm a photographer.
My apologies for the sudden and unexpected diary entry but it's all part of the process ;)
Did you know that if you drop a frog into boiling water it will jump out immediately, no harm being done to it.... But if you put a frog in cold water and slowly heat it to a boil it won't have the wit to realize the danger it is in and your poor frog will boil to death?